“Cinderella never asked for a prince. She asked for a night off and a dress”, Keira Cass
It’s no secret that becoming a mother often makes us lose a bit of ourselves despite the priceless joy that it brings. We tend to develop a new identity in the role of a mother and revel in it to the point that we forget our own self identity. The fun-loving, self indulgent and happy go lucky girl slowly chips away. What remains is the shell of a woman that you used to be, trying to perfect every role that is expected of you. We take it on happily and all too eagerly. And why not? Becoming a mother is an honor and a privilege. The problem is when we lose sight of ourselves.
This is why it is so important to have other women in your life as friends. While it’s not always easy to build or maintain friendships it is not something worth overlooking. How Friendship Affects Your Physical & Mental Health describes the impact of friendships on health and well-being; “Good friendships have a myriad of benefits, such as increased feelings of belonging, purpose, increased levels of happiness, reduced levels of stress, improved self-worth and confidence.” Many such studies also show the positive effects women have on other women when they spend time together. This is why the occasional girls night out is priceless. A girls night out is not about detailing how the baby is ahead in their milestones or painstakingly describing the color of their poo while they were sick (something I may do). It is about reminding yourself just how important you are in addition to blowing off some steam. It is all about some girly, indulgent time to rebuild your own self.
Personally, I am on a journey to reclaim myself. That is why it was so welcome and pleasing when some friends organized a pamper party to celebrate the pending arrival of our baby girl. What did the pamper party entail? A spa corner, an afternoon tea, handcrafted photo props, a great movie (so appropriate because it was about a woman becoming empowered) and just amazing company.
The spa corner was just so elegant and extravagant, that a girl just cannot help herself. I did a rosewater face cleanse, baking soda exfoliation, sandal wood face mask and finished it by a layer of natural yogurt for moisture. I also got my nails polished by a beauty queen! My nail polish has started to chip away but the feeling and memory of beautiful peach nail polish on my nails will remain a luxurious keepsake.
According to Irene S. Levine, Ph.D., creator of The Friendship Blog “Other women also shape us as people. Our female friends provide virtual mirrors that allow us to see who we are and whom we want to become,”. Never have these words rung so true to me than this phase of my life. I look up to other women, I am encouraged and motivated by women and spending time with them gives me a new and improved perspective to just about everything.
Have a look at these mouth watering treats! Cheesecakes, panna cotta’s, eclairs and chocolaty heaven to feed the soul. Savoury treats included dainty sandwiches, salmon bites, rolls and wraps too pretty to eat and our own beloved gulha and havaadhuleebis. What was most amazing is not just the taste but the impeccable beauty of it. That’s what I love in a woman, they are not just the sexier beings but they are also capable of almost anything.
The anxiety that creeps in when I imagine having two under two in few months is definitely under wraps. Why? Because I had a girls day out and it reminded me of the beauty of being a woman and what we are capable of.