Being more on the type A side of the personality spectrum I thought I would find a great sense of achievement in the busy life of being a mother. A mother is constantly adopting to many different roles and in doing so prone to being highly competitive, of over-achieving nature and constantly multi-tasking. Between cooking, cleaning, laundry, feeding, bathing, playing, bending (oh the constant bending), a typical mother is more or less occupied the whole day. Not to mention mothers who also study or work or even both. I am flabbergasted at their strength!
But the ironic thing is in becoming a mother I was reminded constantly to take a pause. I started to re-evaluate the hurried life that I had so far taken pride in. I officially wanted a chill pill. From the moment my little man was born, he has been teaching me how senseless our daily distractions are in the form of busyness or idle worries. His eyes brightens up when he looks at us, he wakes up with a big smile, he thinks cuddles and kisses are the best thing in the world, he looks at the world in wonderment and takes his sweet time in exploring his environment. What is the meaning of living if not for this? As he grows up he falls constantly, only to get up without hesitation. He messes up a hundred times before he gets it right and anyway praises himself with a “oh wow”. As adults we may not have the same luxury but we can aspire to have such an attitude towards life.
I surely cannot do without my to-do lists, but I can learn to let go of the meaningless distractions and a perfectionist approach to life. I love this explanation of peace by Zenhabits:
“Peace isn’t a place with no stress, but a place where you take the stress as it comes, in stride, and don’t let it rule you. You let it flow through you, and then smile, and breathe, and give your child a hug.”
It was really a breakthrough phase in my life, and still is as I work through how to find peace everyday by doing the simple things that really matters. I like the suggestions by Positivityblog.
It simply says to
- Set limits
- Find a relaxation technique that works for you
- Don’t make mountains out of molehills
- Slow down
- Declutter your world, declutter your mind
- Use a minimalistic workspace
- Accept and let go
Sounds simple enough right, but for a parent juggling a plateful this may sound impossible. That is why its important to raise children who can help us attain this. The Way of the Peaceful Parent recommends “The Way” to a peaceful parenting approach where we can help ourselves and the kids to a calmer life. I specially like this suggestion at number 2:
“Teach your child to make her own breakfast. This starts for most children at around the age of 3 or 4. Teach them progressively to brush their teeth, bathe themselves, clean up their rooms, put away clothes, wash their dishes, make lunch, wash their own clothes, sweep and clean, etc.”
Oh that is a day to look forward to, thinking about it already puts a smile on my face.