I am inspired to try my hand at personal blogging yet again, and this time on reaching a huge milestone in life. Turning 30!
Months leading upto this, I was adamant that I did not want to celebrate or even acknowledge that I was on to my 4th decade (as someone so nicely put). I told my hubby that I didn’t want even a present let alone celebration. But when the day dawned, I came to realize just how special it is to acknowledge or celebrate birthdays. Mostly because despite what I felt I knew how much I looked forward to cakes, gifts, wishes and just being the centre of attention! Keeping my inner child aside, it’s the one day in a year that you get countless good wishes, loved ones spend extra time thinking about what to get you as a gift, and you get to appreciate how much and how many people love you. It’s a special feeling, not worth dismissing just because you are afraid to look back. So having this “epiphany” I realized how much I wanted to look back, at what my life has been over the last year. The good and the bad, everything I have and what I didn’t.
Last year can be summarized as a year that I have dreamt the most. It was a rollercoaster or hope and despair. Early 2013, I had reached a milestone, having completed my education I felt I was ready to take on the world. My number one priority was to get an amazing job, add value to my life through hard work, and establish a foundation in my career before moving on to more personal goals .
It was a year of search, Aah the countless job applications and interviews. The elation in getting an interview, the controlled rise in expectation when asked for the written exam, the secret planning of wardrobe for the new job, and finally despair when I receive the no go. After some 10 odd interviews I settled. For a job that did not promise all that I hoped, I knew it but I settled. My philosophy has always been to never settle for lesser than I deserve and unless something adds value to my life or others in it, then stay away. Hence, lesson learnt, never give in to desperation. Stand by your belief and work extremely hard to achieve what you want. Life is just too short to settle.
Priority number two (which is number 1 now) was to start a family. Yet again, the world of hope was journeyed and is still being explored.
There is a silver lining to every cloud, over the past year:
- I learnt of perseverance- I became an avid job hunter, day by day getting better at writing EOI’s & cover letters, updating resume, firm handshakes, confidently conveying my expectations and selling myself. This went on for only 4 months which seemed like a lifetime to the bright eyed fresh graduate I was.
- Contention is family- I have been so lucky to have had healthy and prosperous years. I celebrated 4 years with my unbelievably kind hearted husband.
- Clearer vision of leadership- over the past 9 months I learnt so much from my workplace and 99% has been of what I do not want to be like. I aspire to become a leader who is participative and democratic. A leader who shares the experience of leadership with all members and is focused on relationships and behaviour change. The silver lining to settling with a job I didn’t like, is that I got to affirm what I aspire and of course the people I met along the way. All experience is an arch to build upon, someone said.
Last year, I was always ready for a first time, hoping with all hope that I will achieve. I was high on hope and held on to leaves that kept on falling in an Autumn day. And now, Stealing a verse from Beth Orton,
I’m coming through like the first shoots of spring
I’m standing outside of space and time
And I’m healing
I’m ready for a first time feeling
Something I can believe in.